A design “feature” in the iPhone headphone jack has caused an unexpected spike in X-acto knife sales and caused thousands to mutilate their over priced “audiophile” quality headphones.

Rumor has it, the SEC is investigating suspicious trading activity of several Apple, Inc. industrial designers who reportedly purchased millions of X-acto stock prior to June 28th. Stay tuned for more updates as the story unfolds.

Apple is reportedly set to release safety guidelines for “enhancing” your existing headphones to become iPhone ready. “Always cut away from yourself” is being bounced around as a working tagline for the safety docs, though Belkin is lobbying Apple to hold off on the instructions until its line of iPhone approved accessories is released.